The death of a brother or sister is a severe trial and an extremely difficult experience for anyone who goes through it.
When we grow up alongside someone, develop together, constantly interact, and participate in the same family events, we seem to share one story. Siblings are deeply connected to one another. And no matter how much we might have dreamed at certain moments in childhood of being the only child in the family, we could never truly imagine what it would be like to exist without our brother or sister by our side.
By default, it seems to us that a brother or sister is forever. But sometimes, it happens that the person who was with us from childhood, and for younger siblings from birth, is no longer with us.
The Unique Challenges of Sibling Grief
Sibling grief is exceptionally complex as it has its own characteristics. Bereaved siblings are often called the “forgotten mourners.” They find themselves in a situation where, in addition to dealing with their own grief and pain from the loss, they must also bear the sorrow of their parents. And if we are talking about adult siblings, they may also have to face the grief of their own family: children, partner.
Siblings are those who mourn the loss of a loved one, but they go unnoticed. They seem to be in the shadow of those whose grief is perceived as greater. After a loss, the social circle tends to focus its support on parents who have lost a child, on the deceased’s children and partner. Meanwhile, the brother or sister remains outside this circle of support.
This is the biggest challenge siblings face when mourning a loss: “My grief is not important. What I feel does not matter.” These thoughts, combined with the overwhelming burden of experiencing both their own grief and the grief of those around them, and the inability to express their emotions, significantly complicate the mourning process and hinder the natural progression of grief.
Don’t Ignore Your Feelings
Even though sibling grief is often overlooked, this does not mean it is any less than the grief of other family members. If you find yourself in a situation where you are unable to experience and process your grief in the way you need, and if your family and surroundings cannot support you in your mourning, it is best to seek help from a psychologist.
Consulting with a specialist will give you the opportunity to speak out, experience your emotions and pain, and gradually cope with the grief of losing a loved one.
If you are experiencing loss and need support, do not remain alone with your pain. Residents of the Korosten district can reach out to specialists in the Psychological Support Spaces or take advantage of the mobile medical team’s services that visit villages.
Get the help you need and take a step towards healing.
Article author: Tetyana Yuzvak, clinical psychologist